i heart Sausage Fests

So the night after Christmas, me and the Asian Persuasion wanted to hit up Boston. We were already inviting David Beckham so I hit up Ralph since he usually doesnt turn down a night of drinking to join us. Since its the night right after a holiday, the bar is kind of low key and makes for perfect view to either people watch or just talk. So we are sitting at the bar, having our drinks, having a good time when I realise that all the guys in the bar are definetly 35+ and there is way more guys than girls in the bar. The gods had decided to c*ckblock me by putting me in a bar full of men who are 10+ years older than me. This prompts me to say "Its like a sausage fest in here!". I must have said it pretty loudly because the guy next to the Asian Persuasion turns his head, looks right at me, has his eyes very wide open and starts nodding his head up and down. So I ask, "Are you glad its a sausage fest?" and he goes "Ohh yea" and does the head nod and then reaches over to give me a high five! He was glad about the fest, I would have been if they younger and not obssessed with college football. Later in the night, I notice a guy sitting all by himself sitting at the bar drinking my favorite drink- a big bottle of Magners. The problem? The guy was definetly wearing a leather jacket like an axe murderer who will leave your body in an alley would wear. So as I debate whether he is Michael Myers without the mask, David Beckham grabs a bottle of windex from the waitress station and thinks about asking said axe murderer if he wants his jacket cleaned. I was lucky enough to convince him to not spray, wipe, spray because I want to be able to go back to that bar, thank you very much. Towards the end of the night, me and Asian Persuasion decide to check out the dance room and see whts going back there. BAD IDEA. The minute we step past there 2 guys come out of no where and start humping us endless even after we started laughing and said "YEa no, this dance aint happening". This forces us to leave the dance room and go to the bar, but out of some miracle from the hate gods, these two ra-tards pop up and need one last grind session before leaving us alone. It was kind of tramatizing to be attacked from all angles on a dance floor.