I have 2 very different stories about 2 different New Years Eve's for you. These were back to back years. I hope you feel my pain.
When we rang in 2008, I was in Ireland. And before you start asking youself what that party was like I'll cut to chase and let you know that many many pints of Bulmers (Or Magners as its called Stateside) and Jagerbombs were consumed on this particular New Years Eve. So I'm on this great trip to visit my cousins and see another part of Ireland I had never been to before. During the course of my stay, I had become friends with some of my cousins friends. So we head out to the Roost and we are all having a good time. Drinking and chatting away. I'm loving it. At one point earlier this day before we were out celebrating, my cousin Laura makes a joke that we should find me a fella for midnight and I jokingly say back 'Hell yea', thought maybe I wasn't joking after all? No really, if I had come back to Boston with a great kiss story, great, if not, I still had a "wicked good time". Well I didnt think I was going to come home with a story of how my midnite moment really went.
Back to being at the pub drinking away- so we are doing our thing. Before I know it, my friend Amy said she was running to toilet so since I was drinking and breaking the seal happens, I went along. I open the door to the toilet and ask her if she knows what time it is. She thought it was 11.30 and so didnt I. Meanwhile some chick in there tells me its actually 11.45. "Ok, I have 15 minutes to get out of here and ring in the New Year with everyone" I thought to myself. Until the chick who told me it was 11.45 proceeds to leave the toilet and when I hear the door open to the pub all I hear is the entire pub doing the countdown and I say "WTF Amy. Its Midnite and we are in the toilet!" and her response? "Ahh it's going to be midnite all night!". Cheers Amy. So first trip out of Boston for New Years and thats how I rang it in. Later in the night I ended up at a gaf party with everyone. Me, Laura and Eoin leave the house and are heading to Laura's when Eoin realises he didn't see me at midnite, so he asks me where I was. My answer? "I was in the f*cking bathroom with Amy!". I yelled this pretty loudly at about 3 am on a maain road in her town. Pretty sure the Gards were wondering why an American was yelling about being a f-ing bathroom.
So the next year comes and I am determined to not make the same mistake of spending the countdown in a bathroom, in a stall, on a toilet and or any other combination of those things. I am in New Hampshire partying my a$$ off. I look at the clock a lot to make sure I time my bathroom breaks perfectly. Its 11.30 so I know I have to go then or hold it another 35 minutes and at this point, I had a lot of adult beverages and waiting that long was not an option, unless your the crazy NASA astraunat who wore a diaper so she drive the zillion miles between Texas and Key West or wherever the hell it is in Florida was headed for so she could confront her fellow NASA lover with his girl on the side. OK that got confusing. Have to stay focused here- So its 11.30 and I head downstairs and queue up for the toilets. The ladies line is not moving and I just saw like 10 chicks lock themselves into the handicap bathroom, which is seperate from the mens and ladies rooms. Thats kind of awkward but was every mans fantasy who were drinking in the downstairs bar. So my friends friend was at the door of mens room. He had on a suit so I figured he was a somebody and either owned the place or managed it. This made me trust him. He tells me there is no one in the mens room and I can use it and he will make sure no guys go in for like a minute or two while I tinkle. I go in, and there is 1 stall and like 10 urinals. So I run into the 1 stall, do my thing, and right when I'm about to open the stall door, a line of men come in. Now, as much as I wish I had the balls to walk out, I didn't. I'm standing there trying to see figure out how to get out of this situation and still make it upstairs for midnite when I hear one guy tell his buddy, while each were holding their own family jewels, that his friend has to 'help him ditch the fat chick who wont leave him alone'. WTF? These guys are worse than girls. I would wait til the night was over to bash a fugly man who was bothering me. Manners gentlemen! So all the men do their thing and leave. I run out of the stall, wash my hands and head for the door faster than a fat kid runs who sees a double choclote chip muffin. Once out the door, I see a definete hillbilly ask me what I was doing in there and I just say "Wouldn't you like to know", winked, and went back upstairs where I made it to my table by 11.45 and in time to get my champagne glass filled. Suprinsingly, I remember the whole night also.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I have no luck on New Years Eve
I have 2 very different stories about 2 different New Years Eve's for you. These were back to back years. I hope you feel my pain.
When we rang in 2008, I was in Ireland. And before you start asking youself what that party was like I'll cut to chase and let you know that many many pints of Bulmers (Or Magners as its called Stateside) and Jagerbombs were consumed on this particular New Years Eve. So I'm on this great trip to visit my cousins and see another part of Ireland I had never been to before. During the course of my stay, I had become friends with some of my cousins friends. So we head out to the Roost and we are all having a good time. Drinking and chatting away. I'm loving it. At one point earlier this day before we were out celebrating, my cousin Laura makes a joke that we should find me a fella for midnight and I jokingly say back 'Hell yea', thought maybe I wasn't joking after all? No really, if I had come back to Boston with a great kiss story, great, if not, I still had a "wicked good time". Well I didnt think I was going to come home with a story of how my midnite moment really went.
Back to being at the pub drinking away- so we are doing our thing. Before I know it, my friend Amy said she was running to toilet so since I was drinking and breaking the seal happens, I went along. I open the door to the toilet and ask her if she knows what time it is. She thought it was 11.30 and so didnt I. Meanwhile some chick in there tells me its actually 11.45. "Ok, I have 15 minutes to get out of here and ring in the New Year with everyone" I thought to myself. Until the chick who told me it was 11.45 proceeds to leave the toilet and when I hear the door open to the pub all I hear is the entire pub doing the countdown and I say "WTF Amy. Its Midnite and we are in the toilet!" and her response? "Ahh it's going to be midnite all night!". Cheers Amy. So first trip out of Boston for New Years and thats how I rang it in. Later in the night I ended up at a gaf party with everyone. Me, Laura and Eoin leave the house and are heading to Laura's when Eoin realises he didn't see me at midnite, so he asks me where I was. My answer? "I was in the f*cking bathroom with Amy!". I yelled this pretty loudly at about 3 am on a maain road in her town. Pretty sure the Gards were wondering why an American was yelling about being a f-ing bathroom.
So the next year comes and I am determined to not make the same mistake of spending the countdown in a bathroom, in a stall, on a toilet and or any other combination of those things. I am in New Hampshire partying my a$$ off. I look at the clock a lot to make sure I time my bathroom breaks perfectly. Its 11.30 so I know I have to go then or hold it another 35 minutes and at this point, I had a lot of adult beverages and waiting that long was not an option, unless your the crazy NASA astraunat who wore a diaper so she drive the zillion miles between Texas and Key West or wherever the hell it is in Florida was headed for so she could confront her fellow NASA lover with his girl on the side. OK that got confusing. Have to stay focused here- So its 11.30 and I head downstairs and queue up for the toilets. The ladies line is not moving and I just saw like 10 chicks lock themselves into the handicap bathroom, which is seperate from the mens and ladies rooms. Thats kind of awkward but was every mans fantasy who were drinking in the downstairs bar. So my friends friend was at the door of mens room. He had on a suit so I figured he was a somebody and either owned the place or managed it. This made me trust him. He tells me there is no one in the mens room and I can use it and he will make sure no guys go in for like a minute or two while I tinkle. I go in, and there is 1 stall and like 10 urinals. So I run into the 1 stall, do my thing, and right when I'm about to open the stall door, a line of men come in. Now, as much as I wish I had the balls to walk out, I didn't. I'm standing there trying to see figure out how to get out of this situation and still make it upstairs for midnite when I hear one guy tell his buddy, while each were holding their own family jewels, that his friend has to 'help him ditch the fat chick who wont leave him alone'. WTF? These guys are worse than girls. I would wait til the night was over to bash a fugly man who was bothering me. Manners gentlemen! So all the men do their thing and leave. I run out of the stall, wash my hands and head for the door faster than a fat kid runs who sees a double choclote chip muffin. Once out the door, I see a definete hillbilly ask me what I was doing in there and I just say "Wouldn't you like to know", winked, and went back upstairs where I made it to my table by 11.45 and in time to get my champagne glass filled. Suprinsingly, I remember the whole night also.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment