I hate Man Cougs. All they want to do it c**kblock us younger ladies who are out with our girls and want to meet guys. Case in point- One night this summer, me and Sunny at our at local wateringhole having a few drinks and checking out the sceneray. We were sitting at the bar looking as cute as you can look when its about 95 degrees outside. There were 2 empty chairs to our left. To our right, ok more like the seat exactly to my right, was an older fella that we have grown to call "Gramps". He was great. He didn't try to ruin in our game. In fact, he wanted to improve it. He taught us how to go from switching the alcohol your drinking constantly in the course of a night and not get sick, plus he helped us pick what guys we should or should not attack like the lady cats we are when all of a sudden these two man cougs come and sit in the empty seats to our left! And to make matters worse, they just would not leave us alone. Every two seconds the short one kept leaning over towards us to make conversation and we made it obvious in a polite way that we we did not appreciate him stealing the thunder from all the younger men in the bar that night! And did he give up? NO! And to make matters worse, we were in fact eyeing a group of guys who were much much cuter than he was. Why? A) they were our age. B) They werent rocking the Salt N Pepper Look. Only George Clooney can pull that one off buddy and C) They had suits on. Who's wearing a suite at 10 O'Clock at nite on a Saturday?! Now, you may be asking yourself at this point, "Self, what is a 'Man Cougs'?". And the answer is easy. A male version of a Female Coug, except not to attractive. An attrative older gentleman who is looking for company for the evening is a Silver Fox.
Back to my hatred of Man Cougs- So we see these guys we want to check out, but Dad 1 & Dad 2 next to our left won't go away. By some miracle (and I mean it when I use that word. The heavens parted and Angels were singing), one of the friends of a young suiter Sunny had her eye on, decided to come over to us and use the little gap between Sunny and Man Cougs Dad 1 to buy his drink. He started chatting her up. Before I knew it, the young suiter Sunny was eye-ing is right next to me asking me what I'm drinking. Oh Yea, the guy she was checking out bought me a drink and she got nothing from the young suiter talking to her! Go Me! Sadly, Dad 1 & Dad 2 must have scard them because after the drink purchase, they walked away :-(
That is, until I went outside and they were outside having a smoke and I showed them my sex face that I had created during the New Kids on the Block concert the previous night. Don't go to a show where half the songs are about doing the nasty when you have a bad case of jetlag. Your friends will never let you live it down. So I did my sex face dance, where I put 1 leg in the air and 1 arm out like I'm riding a horse and say 'OOHH YEAA' while humping the air. They seemed to enjoy it. Sadly, I have no seen them again. I would have though, if Man Cougs didnt c**kblock me!
Monday, January 25, 2010
I hate Man Cougs
I hate Man Cougs. All they want to do it c**kblock us younger ladies who are out with our girls and want to meet guys. Case in point- One night this summer, me and Sunny at our at local wateringhole having a few drinks and checking out the sceneray. We were sitting at the bar looking as cute as you can look when its about 95 degrees outside. There were 2 empty chairs to our left. To our right, ok more like the seat exactly to my right, was an older fella that we have grown to call "Gramps". He was great. He didn't try to ruin in our game. In fact, he wanted to improve it. He taught us how to go from switching the alcohol your drinking constantly in the course of a night and not get sick, plus he helped us pick what guys we should or should not attack like the lady cats we are when all of a sudden these two man cougs come and sit in the empty seats to our left! And to make matters worse, they just would not leave us alone. Every two seconds the short one kept leaning over towards us to make conversation and we made it obvious in a polite way that we we did not appreciate him stealing the thunder from all the younger men in the bar that night! And did he give up? NO! And to make matters worse, we were in fact eyeing a group of guys who were much much cuter than he was. Why? A) they were our age. B) They werent rocking the Salt N Pepper Look. Only George Clooney can pull that one off buddy and C) They had suits on. Who's wearing a suite at 10 O'Clock at nite on a Saturday?! Now, you may be asking yourself at this point, "Self, what is a 'Man Cougs'?". And the answer is easy. A male version of a Female Coug, except not to attractive. An attrative older gentleman who is looking for company for the evening is a Silver Fox.
Back to my hatred of Man Cougs- So we see these guys we want to check out, but Dad 1 & Dad 2 next to our left won't go away. By some miracle (and I mean it when I use that word. The heavens parted and Angels were singing), one of the friends of a young suiter Sunny had her eye on, decided to come over to us and use the little gap between Sunny and Man Cougs Dad 1 to buy his drink. He started chatting her up. Before I knew it, the young suiter Sunny was eye-ing is right next to me asking me what I'm drinking. Oh Yea, the guy she was checking out bought me a drink and she got nothing from the young suiter talking to her! Go Me! Sadly, Dad 1 & Dad 2 must have scard them because after the drink purchase, they walked away :-(
That is, until I went outside and they were outside having a smoke and I showed them my sex face that I had created during the New Kids on the Block concert the previous night. Don't go to a show where half the songs are about doing the nasty when you have a bad case of jetlag. Your friends will never let you live it down. So I did my sex face dance, where I put 1 leg in the air and 1 arm out like I'm riding a horse and say 'OOHH YEAA' while humping the air. They seemed to enjoy it. Sadly, I have no seen them again. I would have though, if Man Cougs didnt c**kblock me!
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