Are you there vodka? Its me Katie and I'm surrounded by Douches

2 weekends ago turned into a big group shindig in Boston. We ended up at a college bar right next to Boston Common where basically everyone in there was a student @ Suffolk or Emerson..or so we thought. I didnt realise the "Med" Students from 2 blocks over were in the house. So we are this bar which is crammed, but the music is going and we are all dancing the night away. A few people in the group head downstairs for a more low-key experiences and eventually we all end up down there. Now before I continue, let me give you a visual of numbers. There are 5 girls and 2 guys in our group. This complete douche-y looking guy goes up to one of my friends (we are all standing in a circle) and asks her how we all met. Now she is very very quick witted and I love it. She says to, dead seriously, "We all met on Craigslist" and I chime in with my 5 cents by then adding, "Yea, the Random Encounters page to be exact!" and she addes fuel to the fire by pointing to one of our friends who was over at the bar and proceeding to tell said douche "That guy is our pimp so you have to talk to him to talk to us". This guy proceeds to pull out a $5 bill and offer it to any 2 girls that will kiss. Really buddy? $5 for a girl on girl kiss to happen once? Go buy a porn and and watch it as many times as you want! He then doesnt get the hint that we are messing with him big time and starts telling us his life story. OK, I'm missing fist pumping to "Tik Tok" for you, so this better be good! He then proceeds to say "I go to Tufts. Its a Medical School!". NO way! I had no idea Tufts had that. Wow, do you want a cookie?! So we ask what field he wants to pursue post Med School and he tells us he is in Dental School. OK- BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MED SCHOOL & DENTAL SCHOOL! Like just say "Im in Dental School". Sunny didn't believe him and got close and said his teeth were pretty nasty for one who wants to be a dentist and that she wouldn't let a guy with those teeth work on her. But the more important fact of this all is that he is basically the dude from the Hangover who is a dentist and tries to check into his room in Vegas as "Doctor" when his buddy blows his cover & tells the desk clerk that hes not a real doctor, but indeed a dentist. So later in the night, me, sunny & our friend of the Asian Persuasion are all dancing upstairs again when all of a sudden this douche re-appears, pulls out $20 and offers it to us to leave our Asian Persuaian alone with him. I let Sunny chew his a$$ verbally while I grab my little pint sized friend and was forced to do violation dances with her in order for this man to think we don't like men. If he only knew are really into men and fear turning into real life Cougars. Who offers money like that? He really thought we were hookers who met on Craigslist! What a ra-tard! So later in the night, 5 of us decide to stop by the North End for some late night pastries since 3 of the people have an hour long journey back to New Hampshire. I'm in the bakery with the girls. Two decide to leave and go to another bakery. I don't want anything, so I decide to be noisy and stand outside the bakery and watch a cop write a ticket to drunk 2 girls who won't pay their taxi fare. Meanwhile, Ralph is driving in circles around the North End because there is no where to park in that neighborhood! Ralph calls me, but I'm pretty consumed with the drunk girl drama going on, not to mention I was chatting to a cute guy who was equally into it as I was. The girl is saying she doesn't $15 for her cab fare but is holding her debit card in her hand. RA-TARD MUCH? The Cop tells her he will rip it up if she pays and she continues to cry she doesn't have it and then calls the cop a really bad word. Yea, it was colorful. OK, thats like rule 1 if your in that sitation. Sweet talk them. Don't bad talk to them. Your a girl. Cry. It works a lot. I eventually realise I don't want Ralph to leave me in the North End at 2AM so I jump in his car, and we find the rest of the crew. He said he was about to leave us and he didn't know why I didnt get in his car earlier but then he saw I was busy chatting up a cute guy and I got a big high five from the girls in the back seat.