One Month from Today...

Today is April 3, 2010 and one month from today I, Sunny, will turn 29 years old. It will be my last year in my 20's and although I have good skin and hair and can pass for a 24 year old I am not looking forward to this birthday at all. For me this is the official downhill of life... Let's start with the first topic of why I am not looking forward to turning 29 well that would be my health. Although I am a healthy person I go the gym four times a week, I work out with a trainer and I Zumba my little heart out with this new universal Healthcare passing I'm listening to my crazy General Manager go on tangents about how now now with Universal Healthcare if we are fat our doctor's are going to tell the government. There's something about sodium and MSG. I thought to myself I already try to watch my sodium intake I work out four times a week what does the government care if I want to dine out at the Kowloon every once in a while. I'll drink lots of water the next day to flush it out. I have a full time job I pay for my own healthcare I pay my taxes let me eat a cheeseburger from BK if I feel like it! Also, there's the fact that as I get older when I go to the doctor's there are more tests, exams and specialists that I have to see. You have to have your moles check, your peek a chew checked, oh you have heart burn oh you have to go to the gastrologist for that. Then there's your family's health history well between both sides of my family I'm so dying from some sort of cancer. Personally I want to go with my self diagnosed hyper anxiety and just stroke out on the treadmill. And I hate when the doctor after the family history portion asks about what you eat, what do you drink, how much do you drink, do you tan, how many sexual partners have you been with. It's like really back in the 40's no one cared if you drank, ate carbs and lots of red meat you had sex you were merry and then you died. I'm really all about that. I'm really about living for life why because everything gives you cancer! It doesn't matter how much I play by the books how much I don't tan or how much red meat or wine I don't drink I am going to die of some sort of cancer! Because everything gives you cancer! It's ridiculous! Every day, every year there's something new to look out for and be aware of and you know what I am done. I am done living by society's rules and if the doctor is going to inform the government that I drink a massive amount of alcohol for my size eat carbs and dine out at the Outback then let Obama know now! I don't care. And I'm telling you right now that when I turn 50 I am not getting a colonoscopy. I don't care if I have colon cancer I will not have someone put a tube up my bum. Not a finger Not a toy Not a boy goes in that hole. Nope. On to the 2nd reason why I do not want to turn 29 this also has to do with a combonation of two things... the first there is no Mr. in my future to be his Mrs. Which leads to children. I do want to reproduce I certainly do not want to die alone. But I do want to find a Mr. in order to do that and as I turn 29 I pretty much know that my fertility is shot. Pretty much my uterus has been dead since the age of 26 but officially it will only drastically drop and make having kids that much harder. And there is no prospect of a Mr. anywhere in sight. The last time I went out my boob was courtesy grabbed by a German man. Really this is what I have to deal with out there in the single world? My uterus is dying all the good men are gay or already married. And I'm 99% sure that at this point I'm going to leave the world with just my cat and a box of letters from a boy who I loved. How sad and not so very Jane Austin of me. Third, I hate my job. I did the right thing I got good grades I went to college I got a job and what do I do pretty much I take orders from people planning parties. I hate it. I don't care about your daughter's baby shower in June and I certainly don't care about your high school reunion in 2011. And it really gets me when people are like why don't you work on Saturday. Yes no I don't I do have a life. Also, I work with morons. My boss is on Facebook all day playing Farmville and most of the front desk staff I think we got from a special needs program. It's great! This is our future of America no work ethic! Half of my front desk staff sleeps with half of the guests at the hotel. I feel like I work in black hole. Oh wait I do. When I was in college I want to be this big PR person and do these events and really be something. Right now I would prefer to be Ron Livingston's charcater in Office Space and just crunch numbers all day and not deal with a single soul. And smash the fax machine! :) But with all that I am really hope for the economy to change to get out of this shit job or this blog to really take off get a book deal and end up on the round table of the Chelsea Lately show! And now I'm off to drink!