It's always good to meet someone who is worse off then you! ha ha!

I have this "friend" who we refer to as PP. PP is short for Peter Parker which is not even his real name. Peter is his first name but he has a Polish last name that I saw once and can't remember for the life of me. Anyways me and the PP met back in 2007 at my birthday party. A mutual friend had invited him and another friend of his. When I met the PP I was highly intoxicated and pretty much was making with anything male that passed by me. Well I made out with him and attempted to date PP. But because I was always going out and getting drink I and PP pretty much established more of a booty call relationship. Althought it did take a good 6 months before I actually had sex with him prior to that it was more of making out and courtesy licks. Then one day his crazy ass girlfriend called me up and told me she was PP's girlfriend. Being that I am not a fighter with my fists and more with words and then run away I decided that it would be best to deny anything and let it go and never speak to the PP again. Well of course that did not happen although I did not make any contact with him he to this date will text me. And through the years basically I have come to the realization that PP and his girlfriend are a two hot messes who basically cheat on one another and fight and are crazy yet stay together even though they clearly sleep with other people. I one day ran into PP's girlfriend at a local restaurant and got the great satisfaction that during my affair with PP I was the hot mistress. Although I have way smaller boobs then her my face does not look like it was hit with the ugly stick she has 3 chins a bad blonde dye job and oh yeah she's fat. And I'm not talking cute chubby booty either I'm talking like how does she tie her shoes fat. I got great satisfaction out of this. But whatever. I then had one of my chats with the PP the other day to find out that he and the Crazy girlfriend actually live together now and play house although she sleeps with other men and he sleeps with other women. I was like why are you together? And why do you pay rent if you claim to not even like her or like sleeping in the same bed as her and end up at your parents house all the time. He claims to be like a battered wife where he can't get away. I'm like okay you are just an idiot. Now I've lived in the adult world and there is nothing more that I can't stand that what PP is. Like be self sufficient and move out and get a new place with a friend and go from there. Like why do you have to live with her. Like stand up for yourself you must like her in some way if you have been together now for 7 years. He then tells me that he told her that he has said she's not getting an engagement ring. I highly doubt that and forsee a cubic zirconian in her future. He also says he tries to break up with her but it's really hard. I clearly find this to be the opposite. You say I'm sorry I physically can't not stand your prescence please never call me again and you move on. I do this for both when I am the dumper or when I'm getting dumped. I've only really had one complicated breakup where I remained friends after the breakup. But mostly like Charlotte I say if you don't want to be with me then how can we be friends it doesn't make sense. Back to PP he claims that he is working on breaking up with frying pan face. I beg to differ. But I went to a restaurant with my friends last night and she was working. Her face still heinous and her body is not as fat as it was the time I saw her. Her hair was still bad. But overall I still won! Yeah me! Ha ha! I'm still cuter. Not that I care but it's just the principle that I attempt to keep my shit together and she does not at all. I then drank with my friends and sang country music! :)