...and then there's Roland

I'm sorry Fans! (Which I think we have 2 maybe 3 of) Sunny and I have been getting in our usual antics this summer but no time to type them out to you. Work really gets in the way! But there are some recent activity I must bring to your attention. The first would be that sober I tried to get into the wrong apartment building. I was into this whole thing where I read an article saying that people who take the stairs live longer. Yes! I know it's called excersise but I thought I need to keep it up so I'll take the stairs. Well I step off the stairs too soon and I am on floor 2 instead of 1. I do not know this because my building is like a hotel every floor looks exactly the same. And no I wasn't paying attention to the numbers on the door why would I be doing that! I go to apartment 221 instead of 121 where I live! Pound on the door for my room mate to let me and no one is coming. I'm like damn you Sarah always on the toilet! Finally after 5 minutes of pounding and me looking extra crazy a woman who I do not know comes to the door. This is when I realize I was at the wrong apartment. I start to explain to her that I am not crazy when in fact I clearly am pet her kitty (in which I nice kitty) an run away. Which brings me to the other night - Sarah is out of town. She's in Florida to see the Harry Potter exhibit ( I do not judge and neither should you!) so with Sarah out I really decided to live it up and throw a bender. No wait I wish I could say that but I didn't. I was responsible and asked a few of my friends over to play Rockband. I have a really unhealthy obsession with that game. Anyways after some drinking and pizza eating I went to the trash room to empty my load of trash. I couldn't open the door which is not unusual for a Saturday night so I really pushed the door to which I found a leg. Yup a human leg. Now let's not all go all CSI it was not a dead body (that I see later happening to me) but a drunk man. I of course threw my trash away and then ran back to the apartment to get my friends. And to pee. So I peed and then ran back to the trash room to show them the drunk man that I have found. My friend Krista is a state trained 911 employee for our great granite state. That would be New Hampshire for all you dumbasses reading this. Anyways she takes his vitals and he is clearly breathing. Actually snoring. Our British friend Forrest is trying to wake him up. Nothing. This guy will not wake. So we call 911. While 911 is on the way we take a picture of our drunk friend. 911 comes and we show him where our drunk friend is. They wake him and ask him is name. He says his name is Billy Bubbadoo. And he's laughing and telling the fire department that he was taking his trash out and that he lives in 539. To which I'm like well why is he taking it all the way down to the first floor we each have our own trash rooms. So Billy Bubbadoo starts walking if you can call it that more like a drunk monkey like sway type of walk. He falls down once. He throws an F bomb and is up again. He tries to go into apartment 139 which if you reference to the beginning of this blog sober I have done myself so I feel bad for Mr. Billy Bubbadoo. Which that is not his real name but that's sure what is sounded like. We're like you're on the first floor. He throws another F bomb. Then security takes him to his apartment on 539 but he doesn't have a key to let him in. The security guard finds out that its his girlfriend's apartment and no one is apparently home to let him in. He is not on the lease so the security guard can not do a lock out letting him then enter the building. So the security guard tries to take him to the security office. But Billy passes out in a bush. The police and fire department are called back. Billy is later arrested for drunk disorderly and taken to a drink tank. So sad Billy Bubbadoo we will miss you!